S: 03/19/09

Stephen R Covey

I was first introduced to his book - 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Then few more books. Latest one being The 8th Habit. Then one day I got hold of his audio books and lectures on his books and thoughts in MP3. I have a whole DVD worth of Audio on his subject.

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90- 10 principle by Stephen Covey

It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).
What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.
We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.
We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.
How? ……….By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.
After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.
When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is "D".
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Why?
Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!
React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job.
Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.
Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.
The result?
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.
It CAN change your life!!! Enjoy….

CLASS BEGINS

A professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it.

He held it up for all to see; asked the students,' How much do you think this glass weighs?'

'50gms!'.... '100gms!' ......'125gms' ......the students answered.

'I really don't know unless I weigh it,' said the professor, but, my question is:
What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?'

'Nothing' the students said.

'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.

'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students.

'You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?'

'Your arm could go numb; you might have severe muscle stress; paralysis;

have to go to hospital for sure, ventured another student; all the students laughed.

'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?' asked the professor.

'No' the students said.

Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?'

The students were puzzled.

'Put the glass down!' said one of the students.

'Exactly!' said the professor.' Life's problems are something like this.

Hold it for a few minutes in your head; they seem OK.

Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache. Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.

Lesson

It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but
EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep.

That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh & strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!'

Remember to 'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!

Lessons to learn from Story:

It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but
EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep.
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So how do u have ur dosa????

Heights of Research

There are many ways to eat a masala dosa ..What ever the way one eats; there is a very good reason for doing that. It shows some traits of the person that is you...

Case 1: People who open the masala dosa and eat it: These are the people who are very open about their life. Everyone one the persons friends would know all about him/her. I have generally seen guys do this rather than girls. Some people think that it is a gross way of eating but in truth, these people are just portraying who they are and how their life is.

Case 2: People who start from both end and approach the masala later: These are the people who like to wait for the exiting things to come to their life. Sadly when the times comes, they are not too interested or just do not know how to enjoy it to the fullest. These are the folks who just want life as either dry or exiting. They just do not know how to phase their life and enjoy it no matter what. There are two types of people within this group

Case 2.1: People who do not finish all the masala: These folks just do not care as much for the fun times as they are already brought down by the harsh reality of life. The dry periods in their life has left them with so much scars that they do not want to be really happy when the time is right. They just take only as much as they needed and end their life. A very sorry state indeed.

Case 2.2: People who finish all the masala with the little dosa they have: These are the folks who just are the extremes. They just go all out in life. No matter it is dark or bright. They may not enjoy life to the fullest but they sure make sure that they get every single good and bad thing out of life. Sometimes these folks are really hard to get along with. They are either your best friends or your worst enemies. They do not have a middle path at all.

Case 3: People who start from the middle and proceed to both ends: These are the people who like to get right to what they think is their best part of life. Usually these guys finish of the good portions in a hurry and get stuck with nothing but worst parts of their life. The thing to note among these people is that the tendency to burn out very early in their life. Like the above case, there are two kinds of people in this group too.

Case 3.1: People who do not finish the dosa: These folks are really the saddest of people. They are the ones who tend to end their life as soon as it hits the bad patch. For them, they only need and want the best things in life and nothing more. Typically, they are not prepared or tuned to life as a whole. They just want to enjoy from first till last. Sadly, no one in the world can live without even an ounce of sadness in life. Not even the richest of the richest. But to self destruct at the mere sign of distress is very bad. That is what these guys tend to do. Some learn to live life but most of them do not.

Case 3.1: People who do finish the dosa: These folks are the typical human beings. We all enjoy the greatest of times in life and push the sad parts thinking about the great times in life. Typically the plate is clean and nothing is left for fate or in life. Happiness and sadness are part of life and these guys know that and are kind of prepared for it. Life is not always happy but there are moments of happiness here and there.

Case 4: People who eat the dosa making sure that the masala lasts for the whole dosa: These people are very rare. These are the people who like to attain balance in their life. It is hard to displease these people and it is hard to make them really happy. They like their balance and are very protective of it. Sadly these are the people who tend to be lonely as anyone else may upset the balance of their system... Perfectionist to the core and are very careful. These guys do not make the best company but are needed in any group to make the group from going hay wire.

Case 5: People who do not share and eat the dosa as if it is precious: These folks are very protective about their life. They do not want anyone to come and interfere in their life. They like to hide their true nature and intensions for their benefit. Beware of such people as they are in every group for their own need and nothing else.

Case 6: People who offer their first bite to others: These guys are overly friendly. They do anything to be part of a group and make everyone feel like the group is important than the individuals. They are the glue that holds any group together. They are very friendly and bring the best of all the others in the group. They go out of their way to help other friends. Most groups should have a person like this and they are the ones who plan the group outings and other group activities. Once this person is out of the group, typically the group slowly falls apart.

Case 7: People who take one or two bites and then offer the dosa to others: These guys care about friends and friendship but they take their time to get into the group. They take their time in making friends and they typically are very committed once into the friendship. These guys like to always be in the side lines and typically do not jump into anything in life. They always take their time to analyze the situation and then make a decision. These guys take the better safe than sorry approach.

Case 8: People who wait for others to make the offer first: Typical people I must say. They are unsure about everything. Even if they wanted to offer, they will wait till the other person offers the food first. If the other person is silent, so are these people. They are the followers. They do terrific idea, they will pitch it to someone else and get their advice before proceeding. Sadly, most of the elderly world like these types of people.

Case 9: People who offer dosa only when they cannot finish it on their own: You all may be familiar with these kinds of people. People who are very generous only when all their needs are fulfilled. These folks are selfish but at the same time not misers or greedy. They just want to satisfy themselves before they give it to the world. They typically do not stuff themselves nor do they tend to starve. They are very good people who would give you the best of advices in life. They would make sure that you are not sad following their advice.

Case 10: People who offer the whole dosa and eat from others plates: These folks are other extreme. They know what they want, they get what they want but they cannot enjoy what they want. Instead they tend to settle for other things in life which satisfies the needs but does not satisfy the person completely. These guys are termed as born losers cause even when they have the thing they wanted, they can't stop others from stealing it from them.

So next time you sit with a person eating a masala dosa, look closely and see if he falls into one of the above categories. You may be surprised as how much it reveals about the person*

Enjoy eating Masala Dosa
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The Four Biggest Reasons for Generational Conflict in Teams
8:32 AM Monday February 16, 2009

Today most of us work closely with colleagues that span at least three, if not four generations. The possibility that we'll misunderstand another team member's behavior is high. It's easy to form a hasty and incorrect impression of someone from another generation.

While inter-generational misunderstandings can occur in a variety of situations, for teams, I find generational conflict unusually centers around four essential team activities:

•Choosing where and when to work
•Communicating among team members
•Getting together
•Finding information or learning new things

Choosing where and when to work. Listen to the language: many older colleagues speak of "going to work." Members of older generations often view work as a place - a location you go to at a specified time, say from 8:30 am to 5 pm. This synchronicity stems from a time when the nature of most work required that workers to be present together, for example, to run a manufacturing assembly line. Over time, of course, the nature of work in most sectors of the economy has changed; today most tasks do not require synchronous activities, yet many in older generations -- including many senior executives -- continue to expect synchronous behavior.

Younger workers, in contrast, tend to view work as something you do -- anywhere, any time. They have grown up in an asynchronous world -- filled, for example, with digital TV recorders that allowed them to watch any show at any time. Many Gen Y's consider the rigidity of set work hours an anachronism from another era.

It's easy for team members to misinterpret each other's behaviors around time and place. Is someone who arrives at 9:30 necessarily working less hard than other team members who are there at 8:30? Is it okay for some members to work from alternate locations? Is adherence to time and place norms important for the team to accomplish its task? Is it viewed by some as an important sign of team commitment?

Communicating among team members. No surprise that many Gen Y's and X'ers are comfortable using electronic communication. They text (or Yammer or Twitter) or post to various social networking sites much more frequently than most older colleagues do.

The crux of most technology-based team misunderstandings is not the technology per se - it is how team members interpret each others' intentions based on communication approaches. Younger members are accustomed to rapid responses from peers; they are likely to feel frustrated and, at times, rejected if they don't hear from older colleagues for a day or so. Team members from older generations may not only be uncomfortable with digital communication, they may even feel offended by a lack of face-to-face or at least voice-to-voice interaction, or left out of the loop.

Getting together. Boomers and X'ers are planners and schedulers; Gen Y's are coordinators. When faced with a need to meet, Gen Y's are likely to ascertain each other's immediate coordinates, and then home in on each other. Older colleagues would almost certainly prefer to rely on pre-planned schedules -- and may be very annoyed by younger team members' seemingly seat-of-the-pants approach. To Y's, the extent of scheduling that goes on in most workplaces today seems stultifying and inefficient.

Finding information or learning new things. Boomers and Traditionalists are linear learners -- most are inclined to attend training classes, read manuals, and absorb the requisite information before beginning the task at hand. Gen Y's are largely "on demand" learners -- they figure things out as they go, reaching out to personal contacts with relevant expertise for information or referrals, as needed. Y's are likely to be bored and turned off by a project that begins with a lengthy training phase. X'ers and Boomers may be annoyed by Y's' frequent questions and requests for input.

As you work with colleagues from other generations, your first priority should be to avoid forming quick negative conclusions. Bring the team members' diverse perspectives out in the open -- help everyone on the team understand the multiple points of view -- and legitimize each person's view in the eyes of the team.

Decide together which norms will work best for your team -- for example, how flexible you are about time and place, how you'll communicate different types of information, how scheduled you need to be, and so on -- based on collective preferences and the work you need to accomplish.

And, so we all can learn more, I hope you'll share your multigenerational team experiences. What issues do you face in working together well? How have you addressed them?
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S

StephenRCovey

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